Only the Churchillian resolve of President Donald Trump stands between the embattled American people and a menacing caravan of Latinos headed on foot through Mexico for the United States border. This caravan numbers roughly 4,000 people – half women and children – and lacks a general, missiles, air power, rocket propelled grenade launchers, drones, AR15s or other military weaponry. But thankfully our ever-vigilant President has not been deceived. He knows an existential threat when he sees one. To thwart this ruthless caravan which now lurks about 900 miles away, he has dispatched 5,200 troops to the US/Mexican border to defend our nation’s sovereignty.
No matter how tough Trump is – and he constantly reminds us that he is really, really tough—he is after all a 71-year-old man and the public is well aware of the problems that come with age. Whether you are a Republican or Democrat, who among us wants the President to embarrass himself unintentionally during this period of stress and peril?
As a precautionary measure, I am calling on all of my fellow citizens to order a box of Adult Diapers and ship it to The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500. A helpful link: http://www.idiaper.com/adult-diaper-brands. FYI this link has a sizing guide. Your guess about President Trump’s waist size would be as good as mine.